“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” – 1 Dan 4:7 (NIV)
Dan enjoyed his work as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT). He described his marriage to his high school sweetheart as wonderful.
But as time went on, Dan struggled. He would come home long days at work and his wife would complain that he never spent time with her. He sensed that she doubted that he even loved her.
Dan was at a loss what to say so he just withdrew.
“I love her,” he expressed to his mentor and an elderly man who had taken Dan under his wing. “She is saying that I am not spending time with her. It is only because I’m working long hours so we can get out of debt. I don’t know why she can’t understand that all I am doing is for her and our family”
Dan’s mentor put his arm on his shoulder and replied, “You know, there is an excellent book called ‘The Five Love Languages’, written by Gary Chapman. The idea behind the book is that there are five different ways people express their love for each other.”
He went on to add, “It is common in relationships, one person says I love in their language while the other is saying I love you in a different one. Your wife’s love language is probably spending quality time whereas your language seems to be through actions of your work for the family.”
Dan nodded contemplatively and said, “So, you are saying I need to express my love for my wife in her language instead of mine.”
It can be difficult when a family member or friend speaks in a different love language than you do. However, understanding that and learning to speak their language is a key to making them feel loved and valued.
Dear God, Thank you for your unconditional love towards me. It is sometimes hard to love others. Please help me to learn and practice how to show others I really care about them in the language they understand.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.